skarodegradation:

kanyemotherfuckingwest:

shavingryansprivates:

remember when we were kids and we used to all sing that demented version of the barney song where it was like “i hate you you hate me let’s go out and kill barney”

i don’t remember ever doing this. you were a fucked up kid

i hate you

you hate me

let’s go out an kill barney

with a baseball bat

and a 4x4

NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR

We had our own version in Wyoming, apparently…

I hate you

you hate me

lets chase barney up a tree

with a knife in his back

and a bullet through his head

aren’t you glad that Barneys dead

(via shinos)

We’ve got a problem!

XD working in a library each day and knowing so many other librarians leads to hilarious stories and ideas. This week I’ve been hearing all about how to subtlety insult or compliment patrons. Gotta go become a master of librarian-patron code words!

Mom: Do you want to do laundry tonight or tomorrow after work?
Me: I'll do it after work
Brother: You still have to go to work.
Me: XD
Nana: Well someone still has to go to work in this house and bring home some money
(lol nana that's what happens over Christmas break!)
Me: My friend just got back from Las Vegas.
B: Which one?
Me: ...the real one??
B: Lol, no, which friend?
Mom: What did he just light his cigarrette with?
Brother: His hatred...
Mom: Why are they killing this guy!?
Brother: Because he likes boys.
Mom: Really? What homophobes... I:(
Brother: Little boys.
Mom: Oh, okay then. :)
What I actually say: I find serial killers interesting.
What other people hear: I am a serial killer.

(via manda)

(via manda)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:


Via/Follow The Absolute Greatest Posts…ever.

(Source: ohhcrazylove)